“To be human is to need others, and this is no flaw or weakness.”
— Sue Johnson
Therapy Services
Couples Therapy
Individual Therapy
Couples Therapy
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Are you feeling disconnected from the person you love most? You’re not alone. Sometimes we get into negative patterns where communication quickly goes south, defenses come up, and we find ourselves feeling stuck and alone. If this becomes a habit, the distance between us grows and we end up struggling to communicate with simple life logistics. When more difficult situations come up, we often end up crashing and burning. Often, there are unkind words said, loud protests, or withdrawing from each other physically or emotionally.
Emotionally Focused therapy
That is where Emotionally Focused Therapy can help. EFT is the most empirically sound, research supported therapeutic approach for helping couples reconnect. In this process, we will identify the communication patterns that keep you stuck. We will access the parts of you that come alive in moments of conflict or tension and help make sense of the behaviors that arise. As we come to understand these patterns better, we work to find better tools to express the tender parts of you and help you share your emotions and fears in ways that allow your partner to better understand your inner world. We will replace old, ineffective patterns between you with healthy, soft, and vulnerable patterns that make closeness and connection possible. These relationships can become a place of safety and comfort where the refuge that you long for is a reality.
The Process
Our first session will be a time where the three of us come together and it gives me an opportunity to learn about your history and where you are currently. Next, I will do an individual session with each of you in order to better understand your family of origin, your attachment style and the ways in which you respond in moments of stress, your perspective on individual and couple issues, and any other relevant information.
Stage 1 of EFT is De-Escalation. This is where we deep dive into the cycle of conflict in your relationship. We start to understand the patterns, each of your individual roles in that conflict, and the emotions that drive behaviors in those moments. This stage begins with a logical understanding of what is going on, but then begins to shift to identifying the underlying emotions.
Stage 2 of EFT is Re-Engagement. This stage focuses on helping each of you individually access the vulnerable emotions under the protective behaviors that you have learned. Once you can access those emotions yourself, we focus on helping you to clearly and effectively share them with your partner in new, connecting ways. These interactions will result in a deeper level of trust and closeness.
Stage 3 of EFT is Consolidation. Once we reach this stage, the old ways of communicating have shifted considerably. In fact, you will need my help much less often. In this space, we can talk about past problems and although you may still have bumps along your path, which is totally normal, you will feel more confident in your ability to repair and resolve quickly and effectively.
Individual Therapy
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Are you feeling anxious, irritable, or stuck in patterns that leave you feeling unsure of yourself or worried about how to connect with others? You aren’t alone.
Some of the most common themes that I work with in individual therapy are people pleasing tendencies, perfectionism, anxiety, difficulty in setting and maintaining boundaries, self esteem and confidence issues, insecure attachment styles, and relationship issues.
As children, we learn ways to cope with the challenges that we encounter. As we mature, some of these coping strategies turn into obstacles that prevent us from feeling secure and confident in our relationships. In individual therapy, we will identify your attachment style and help you to cognitively understand why you react in certain ways during times of tension and conflict. We will create space for those big emotions and take time to feel compassion for the younger version of you that struggled to find ways to cope. Then we will help you identify the deeper, more vulnerable emotions that lie under your protective defenses and help you learn to manage and tolerate those emotions in order to respond to others in healthier, more connecting ways.
